I remember walking back from physics class one day and crying my eyes out because I had no idea what was going on. No matter how hard I tired I just couldn’t match the concepts with the homework problems. It just wouldn’t “click”. I was determined to understand it, though. I was going to try hard and put in the hours. I was going to do it all by myself.
Looking back at it now, I feel super silly. Why didn’t I ask for help sooner? Why was I so opposed to going to my colleges tutoring service? (It was free after all so no big deal if it didn’t help.) The more I thought about it the more I realized how turned off many people (including myself) are to asking for help.
Why are We so Stubborn?
Asking for help is a big blow to the almighty ego and a huge admit of defeat. We hear success stories of people building empires all through their own hard work and dedication. It seems like we are conditioned to want to do things all by ourselves. Young children are praised for sticking through the hard things and completing the task all by themselves.
Yes, independence and perseverance is super important. Knowing when you are outside of your ability or just need a nudge in the right direction is even more important. You can still be independent and persevere while asking for help along the way.
Don’t Be Afraid
Yes, you have to admit you don’t know and can’t do everything when you ask for help. You’re human, we all are. Asking for help isn’t the end of the world. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. Getting help will just make your life easier.
Asking for help comes in many shapes and sizes. It can be in the form of tutoring, assistance fixing something, an extra lesson, a therapist, or a trip to the library’s help desk. Help may also take sometime to actually be seen as helpful. Ask questions until you understand the topic or get a group together to fix that thing that’s broken. Keep getting help until you understand it, have fixed it, or see a difference. You may also need to go back for help even after you finished with the first round. That’s perfectly fine and normal.
It’s time we let the pride fall and ask for help. Getting help makes not only our lives easier but, most of the time, better. Don’t be afraid to admit you need help. It’s normal to not know how to do everything or to need a nudge.