I am very happy to say that I have been handling the new culture, distance from home, and all of the assignments really well so far no this trip. At least I was, until today. You have to have some bad days in order to appreciate the good ones, right?
Today started out great. My friends and I went to our favorite bakery and I ordered a beignet in French all by myself. We then went on a tour of the Opera House which was stunning. Then I did a mini ballet photo shoot with one of my friends in the Opera which was a ton of fun.
We grabbed lunch at a sandwich shop on our way to the metro station and I was doing great. I ordered in French and didn’t get any questions or weird looks. My sandwich was great. I tried a new dessert, chocolate and banana tartelette, and it was fantastic. I was feeling good.
Then the stress kicked in. I had received feedback on part of the research paper we are writing for the class and it felt like the world was collapsing. All of the stress that I had been avoiding these past 15 days hit me like a brick. Not going to lie, I had about a 4 hour panic attack both in and out of the dorm. Even running around the city for another assignment with my friends didn’t help.
I decided to skip a normal dinner and go for some quite time back in the room. I felt disgusting both physically and mentally. After a shower, the outside grossness went away but the inside yuck was still there. After multiple calls home and some help from my amazing roommate, I am now feeling only slightly gross which is better than flat out disgusting mentally. After getting some stuff done, I meandered down to the vending machines and grabbed a coffee and a chocolate covered waffle. Coffee and chocolate make the world better, right?
Today’s Mental Health Lesson
Like I said at the beginning of this post, you have to have some bad days to fully appreciate the good ones. Not everyday can be the best day ever. I’m sure I will still feel some mental soreness tomorrow. But you know what? That is okay and part of being human. I will just take the time I need and get back up to my normal and kick this paper’s booty like I normally do!